Sort of Married
Tis’ springtime. The season of looovve. The birds, probably the male birds, are chirping. People are animals. So like animals, this season has a special affect on people. People hooking up, making out, and … oh shizzle, getting married! Congratulations to those newlyweds and grooms and brides to be! Having done the formality of giving you my well wishes and blessing, what are you getting married for anyway? Is there any sanctity in marriage anymore? With the divorce rate as high as it is (I don’t know the exactly number, but its a very Whoa! number), the answer is no.
People get married, get beyond the attached status, because they want to show each other and the world how great their love for one another is. Marriage, which used to represent this I’ll-die-for-you-Juliette everlasting love, is pretty much worthless. With all the divorces and lack of commitment, marriage has been devalued to just another casual gesture of affection. Why bother to get married, especially when marriage is worth so little, and divorce soon after and devalue marriage even more?
I know there are a lot of you out there that do work to preserve the sanctity of marriage, working through the problems and sticking in it for the long hull instead of bailing out. The rest of you, however, take the value out of marriage. Nowadays, marriage is worth little more than a legal contract recognizing two people as husband and wife. Husband and wife, though, might as well be boyfriend and girlfriend…or “that person I know”.
You only get as much value in marriage as the amount of work and commitment you put in. People today don’t put much or any work into their marriage. At the first sign of hardship or conflict, they jump ship like they’re on the Titanic. It’d be nice if people mean “I do” to “in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do us part” even after they get off the altar. If it’s just for the fuzzy feeling of repeating those lines, playing dress up, or being able to say you’re married…puhleeez, stop kidding yourself. If you get a divorce later on, getting married wasn’t something special, you weren’t part of something sacred and beautiful, and your words mean didly squat.
So please, stop kidding yourself. If you have a midterm (3-5 years) to longterm (5+ years) girlfriend or boyfriend, just say so. Don’t announce to your family and friend that “you’re married” and then later, “oh, just kidding! I’m not anymore.” Leave marriage for those who really want to be married. Leave marriage to the adults who know themselves, know what they really want and need, and have the guts, courage, and dignity to be committed to something for a lifetime. Kids play around, kids get boyfriends and girlfriends, kids get to run away from responsibilities and commitments. How do you know if you’re a kid or an adult? If you kid yourself, get married then go “oh crap, I’m not ready for this…I better get un-married,” then you’re still a kid who couldn’t make good choices and judgements like and adult. Want a roommate to get to see neked and get busy? Fine! Lucky you! Don’t lie to yourself. Kids, don’t try to be adults. Just get a girlfriend or boyfriend, they can even be permanent! But call a spade a spade…don’t say you’re married if you’re just dressing up to sign a contract.
